Sometimes I think I should twitter June 26, 2009

I have such random inspirations sometimes that I think I would be better at it.

So todays post will be random

My nose runs like crazy in the summer time. Why? not allergies. Rather because my husband keeps our house like an ice box. Seriously cold. And I understand- truly I do- that when he comes in hot and sweaty from working in the 90 plus temps (with a heat index of 105 or more) that nothing feels better than a refrigerator washed down with a nice powerade. I just haven’t figured out how to make myself a little oven to hide from all the cold yet. Its a family thing too- his next older brother is the same way and when I used to hang out with him and my ex I’d bring a sweater or light winter jacket. I feel bad for my poor SIL who lives with him cuz she gets even colder than I do.

I already mentioned this on my facebook so if you’re reading this there deal with it… I mean I’m sorry. Theres a road not far from here that I pass from time to time when taking the scenic route to town. It has a sign for a cemetery and funeral home. The name of the road? Slaughter. So I’m wondering if anyone else finds that slightly wrong. I mean I really want to have my (nonexistent) will say when my time comes just take me to Slaughter Road.

I’m sitting on my couch typing this on my laptop and for some reason my hair is in pigtails. Hows that for random? I went to put my hair up and for some reason my hands formed pigtails instead of one big ponytail. Who knows how my mind works sometimes.

Last night I decided I wanted to make a dress. So I dug for awhile in my fabric stash until I came to some orange and white gingham fabric. I know some of you are cringeing but you’ll see- it will be alright. I laid it out with the pattern and spent an hour last night on my living room floor cutting it out. I have a bit more to do today, and then I’ll start sewing. I’m picturing wearing this dress (a swingy wrap dress from a McCalls pattern) with a turquoise or red headband and large swingy earrings for our 4th of July get together next week.(I’m making the red one)

The heat has been horrendous here. Fortunately there hasn’t been much going on so Jarell has been able to just chill at home. We spent yesterday lounging on the couches. He watched old sci fi movies on tv while I spent time playing on the internet.

I want to go outside and play in my garden but the heat is getting to me. I dug up a good sized batch of new potatoes the day before yesterday and today my goal is to get the rest of the patch harvested because bugs have killed off my plants. I don’t mind too much tho because I can then have that spot for more veggies. Jarell will probably have a heart attack tho…. shhh don’t tell him yet

My wii fit age yesterday was 21. I was like “sweet!” today- 28. I can’t keep up with this stuff.

I’m reading up on dreams and having a lot of fun with that. What better way to waste time in the summer, right? and aparently all my dreams that my fish are dead or skeletonized and dying? It means that my creative side is not being taken care of. So thats why I’m making a dress.

Enough randomness for now folks

I dream of Genie October 26, 2008

So I’ve been having some seriously strange dreams lately. Like seriously! Like for example? Last night I had yet another dream about living at home again. This is not the first second or even fifth time this has happened. I always wake up pissed off as hell because there are definitely some unresolved issues there. The funny thing is I always remember in these dreams that I’m married altho it usually takes me a little while. Yeah that’s fun- trying to figure out why the hell I’m in trouble for not going to school in the morning when 1) I already graduated and 2) I’m married and do not answer to my parents in that way any more. However the biggest issue in these dreams is me fighting with my step mom. Oh man is that bad. I find myself screaming at her and saying all the things I will never say in real life because I am not able to do that to my dad. These scenes generally involve me cussing and throwing things and in general being someone who is a very angry individual. It’s a whole lotta fun let me tell you that right now. As much fun as those dreams are, the ones that I really love almost as much as a good root canal are the scary ones. Last night it was a movie worthy performance in which there was a girl who was mentally handicapped who had murdered her parents and I knew about it which meant that I was next. Fun stuff! In the beginning she resembled a girl who I worked with at Wal Mart. This girl was slightly handicapped, but the sweetest girl in the world. The one in the dream was terrifying and by the end of the dream when we had her trapped in a box that was supposed to simulate an elevator she had transformed into something truly evil. And of course because riding elevators was her favorite thing to do because she liked watching the trees out the window (It was a really fancy elevator) she realized it was fake when the trees didn’t move and came after us. She couldn’t be photographed because all that came out in the picture was like a part of a foot or arm or something and then it would be like something had been over the rest of the lens of the camera. This is even scaring me telling you about it. *shudders* The worst part however wasn’t the dream but waking up and feeling like I was surrounded by evil and there were spider monsters in my mind. I turned on the light just so that I could stick my boiling feet out from under the covers and then spent an hour reading from a Christian fiction story in order to get my head back to somewhere normal. So what the hell do these dreams mean? I am accustomed to cinematic quality dreams with a wide range of subject matter that, if I could ever remember enough of them, would make damn fine books or at least short stories. They don’t bother me as long as Jarell is home, but when I’m alone they scare the bejeezez outta me. And the crap with living at home again? Crap I went through that once, isn’t that enough for my apparently sick and twisted mind?! Don’t get me wrong- I do have mundane normal dreams along the lines of Jarell coming home for lunch, but somehow they don’t stand out as much as these ones do. Do these dreams indicate a seriously unsettled psyche or are they just run of the mill? And please note that the whole time Jarell has been gone (he’s coming home this week, YAY!) I have steered clear of movies that have any sort of morbid plot, stayed away from my favorite crime scene books ( the good ones by Kathy Reichs and Patricia Cornwell) and in general stuck with safe stuff. Even the Halloween planning has been mostly on the G-rated side because there are likely to be children at our party so that couldn’t be it either. Not to mention that I haven’t had to talk to my step mom so theres not been any conflicts there either. Ah well lets just chalk it up to crazy for now. What do you dream about?

Waking up in someone else’s dream August 23, 2008

Me circa 2008… I

I mentioned once that I went to 9 schools in my school days. I figured out once that I had 52 different teachers (some I had multiple years) and who knows how many substitute teachers. I divided my life between the midwest and NorCal and at times spent summers in Michigan. Its funny, I love having my home and knowing where that is, but here lately I find myself longing for California or Michigan- a change of scenery. However I know as soon as I got there I would be longing for rednecks, mud runs, and my wonderful home where my heart definitely stays. I was inspired to think on these things by The Cheek of God here.

Its amazing what a life of different places can give you in this world. I often consider this, because I have two sets of friends for a long time- California and Missouri- and now I have all of you. Its sometimes difficult, as he relates, to try and explain the different groups to each other, but its not a bad thing. My friends in California knew me in my formative years when I was young and shy and cared what everyone else thought of me. My friends in Missouri knew me as I began to grow up and decided what everyone else thought was a bunch of crap and I was going to live my life my way. And now, you all get to watch me grow into my true self.

I don’t plan to ever fully grow up, but I am becoming my own person away from my parents. I have a new name, a new life, a new husband. (and I’m a new wife… sorry couldn’t resist that rhyme scheme) I am reinventing myself and becoming able to ignore all the things I was for everyone else and just be who I am for me. For better or worse, I am. My dad once quoted a Faith Hill song about me in a sermon in church of all places. “Daddy’s little girl, Mama’s little angel, Teacher’s pet, and pagent queen (well never that) All my life I’ve been pleasing everyone but me. Waking up in someone else’s dream.” I don’t remember exactly what the moral was altho he went on to mention that for the little bit of a person I was, I dreamed big. No one would ever guess from looking at me that I played the baritone horn or had a voice that could belt like mine did when the need arose. But I still hid behind the guise of everyone’s little darling.

Well now its finally my time to shine. I’m living my own dream here folks and you guys have ring side seats. It may get a bit sloppy and nostalgic from time to time and I’m not always grammaticly or politicly correct, but here I am world.

Me circa 2004