This may seem a strange title, but allow me to explain. I am over at my in-law’s house and my almost 3 y/o nephew is here. We’ve been painting this big project that I’m working on for our family reunion. Its a large copy of the painting American Gothic with the faces cut out so we can take pictures of people and we’re working on it while my nephew plays nearby. I had put some paint on a plate to paint and there were bubbles in the shape of an ‘S’. I pointed this out and said it stood for Snot. (our last name is Sisk) and then said “You thought I was going to say Sisk didn’t you?” Well we laugh and go back to our painting and then my nephew comes over and says, “Can I see your s?” BUT since he’s little and still has the cute little kid lisp it came out with a slightly southern twang and sounded more like….”Can I see you ass?” I had a mouth full of chocolate and I almost spewed everywhere as I asked him in astonishment, “What did you say?” I was laughing so hard. At this point he started laughing with me and we all joked about how he says things so cute and they sound so wrong. For example garbage comes out Die Bitch and I reprimanded him a couple times before we realized that we were mishearing. F’s come out s, th comes out as an F, and a k sounds are a t. God I love little kids!
This is an adult topic post. Those of you who are not legally adults are advised to move on to another post as this may fall under the category of TMI for your tender sensibilities. Not this is graphic or anything, but it does at times discuss …. sex….. So I’ll count to five and all of you not gone by then consent to being involved in this somewhat controversial topic. One…. two…. three…. four….five. Okay I think its just us now.
I was pondering something earlier after talking to one of my very good friends who I have know since I was about 13 or so. I contemplated discussing with her the pro’s and con’s of married life specifically related to sex. The good parts like him knowing what you like and vice versa, knowing where he’s been (since you were his first) and what he’s done, knowing who you may or may not be compared to because you’ve seen his stash of porn. All good things in my book. So nothing bad right? Fairly regular safe sex with someone who is already comitted to you. What could be bad? The one thing I thought of was lack of spontanaity and with further thought that really made no sense at all. With premarital sex, (there is no such thing as PMS) you usually try to get all cleaned up, shaved up, spiffied up in general to be as wonderful as possible for someone who you may or may not intend to spend the rest of your life with. I have heard women say that they went out on a date and didn’t shave because that way they wouldn’t think about having sex. Hairy legs and armpits being the ultimate in human chastity belts because heaven forbid he should see THAT. And yet sex is random and unplanned all the same. Fast forward to married life. You’ve had a long winter and you’re unshaven and slightly funky in a pale washed out sort of way. But you’re married and this man has seen you at your worst so sex doesn’t have to be quite so complicated. Birth control is not necessarily as big a deal because nobody is going to disown you for having a kid. (some mothers may disown you for NOT having a kid once you’re married) So why is it then that sex needs to be scheduled in on the calender when you have time. “Hey you wanna you know tonight?” “Oh tonights not good for me. I have to get up early in the morning. How bout tomorrow noonish?” It eventually seems to come down to a “I’ll have my people call your people. We’ll do the sex thing.” This makes no sense at all in my mind. How is it when you’re unmarried and you have to find the time, place, courage, and appropriate supplies, its easy, but when you’re married its not. Ok I can see kids being a deterent, but what if you don’t have kids? Then what? Ah well this is one of those weird random posts that comes to me when I’m taking out my contacts at night or during some other equally mundane task.
I thought to myself last night as my mind whirled in circles before falling asleep that maybe today I would take some pictures and show you some accomplishments that I am proud of. I’m not sure what prompted this as I have always been one to hide at the back of the group letting others be congratulated, but I think it has something to do with the fact that my family is so full of talented individuals who were raised in the RLDS church with the belief that to be proud of yourself was a sin. Despite the fact that over the years most of us have left that church with its narrow mindedness, we continue to carry that stigma about doing something well and admitting that we did. So I was thinking of things that I needed to work on last night, all the negative things that depress me because as a perfect person I should do better and I said to myself “Stop it! What about the things you do right? Don’t they count for something? Seriously!” I have spent years trying to break away from the tenets of my childhood that were wrong and stupid and yet here they are again staring me in the face with their beady self-riteous little eyes. So I decided to come up with a list of 6 things that I’m proud of and then limit myself to a list of 5 things that I need to work on. That seems humanly reasonable, right? To accomplish 5 new tasks is something I should be able to handle and all the rest of the crap can go to hell for all I care.
So here goes. Good news then the bad news.
1) I am a kick ass singer. I took a solo to competition all three years that I was in choir in High School and all three years I got a 1 rating (highest) at the district level and two years I got a 2 rating at the state level and my senior year I achieved a 1 rating at the state level. I inherited my love of music from my parents and both sing very very well. I went to All-State Choir which is a choir made up of 150 of the best singers around the state and it was an incredible experience.
2) I draw pretty darn well
3) I have accomplished a nice sized garden this year and things in it are growing! Not very big yet, but they will be in very short order as they are either squash or beans or lettuce.
4) My craft room is not a complete wreck. This is an ongoing maintenance but still its so much better than when I first got moved in there.
5) I am a very good cook. Don’t believe me? Well when I still lived at home and my dad made the meal decisions I weight 150 and was a size 8/10. Now I’m on my own and do all the cooking I’ve added about 50 pounds. Thats not something I’m proud of but I enjoy good food and I cook good food. There is no doubt in my mind that if I couldn’t cook worth a crap I would still be skinny so I guess thats a testimony in itself.
6) I’m proud of my Etsy store. Its got very little in it, but at least I put myself out there and tried, right? Right!
Now you may ask why 6? Well I was going to do 10 but couldn’t come up with that many.
The bad news:
1) I need to work on my housekeeping skills. I hate cleaning and there are often times where the dishes sit in the sink for several days in a row. I just take the ones off the top and wash them. I hate cleaning bathrooms too and am on strike when it comes to our guest bath because Jarell’s brothers all come down to our house for lunch and use our bathroom to remove all the nastiness from their bodies– inside and out. Yuck!
2) I need to exercise more often, eat less, eat more veggies, and in general actually lose some weight (instead of just “trying”)
3) I need to get more things made up to put in my Etsy shop because I can, I just don’t.
4) I need to spend more time outside with my dogs and this would probably work for the exercise category too.
5) I need to quit talking about all the things I need to do and just do them. No more excuses.
That said folks, I had best get cracking! Thank you all for your support and just reading between my lines once in a while. You’re awesome! Feel free to copy me and make sure to limit the things you’re not good at to less than the ones you’re proud of.