This is an adult topic post. Those of you who are not legally adults are advised to move on to another post as this may fall under the category of TMI for your tender sensibilities. Not this is graphic or anything, but it does at times discuss …. sex….. So I’ll count to five and all of you not gone by then consent to being involved in this somewhat controversial topic. One…. two…. three…. four….five. Okay I think its just us now.
I was pondering something earlier after talking to one of my very good friends who I have know since I was about 13 or so. I contemplated discussing with her the pro’s and con’s of married life specifically related to sex. The good parts like him knowing what you like and vice versa, knowing where he’s been (since you were his first) and what he’s done, knowing who you may or may not be compared to because you’ve seen his stash of porn. All good things in my book. So nothing bad right? Fairly regular safe sex with someone who is already comitted to you. What could be bad? The one thing I thought of was lack of spontanaity and with further thought that really made no sense at all. With premarital sex, (there is no such thing as PMS) you usually try to get all cleaned up, shaved up, spiffied up in general to be as wonderful as possible for someone who you may or may not intend to spend the rest of your life with. I have heard women say that they went out on a date and didn’t shave because that way they wouldn’t think about having sex. Hairy legs and armpits being the ultimate in human chastity belts because heaven forbid he should see THAT. And yet sex is random and unplanned all the same. Fast forward to married life. You’ve had a long winter and you’re unshaven and slightly funky in a pale washed out sort of way. But you’re married and this man has seen you at your worst so sex doesn’t have to be quite so complicated. Birth control is not necessarily as big a deal because nobody is going to disown you for having a kid. (some mothers may disown you for NOT having a kid once you’re married) So why is it then that sex needs to be scheduled in on the calender when you have time. “Hey you wanna you know tonight?” “Oh tonights not good for me. I have to get up early in the morning. How bout tomorrow noonish?” It eventually seems to come down to a “I’ll have my people call your people. We’ll do the sex thing.” This makes no sense at all in my mind. How is it when you’re unmarried and you have to find the time, place, courage, and appropriate supplies, its easy, but when you’re married its not. Ok I can see kids being a deterent, but what if you don’t have kids? Then what? Ah well this is one of those weird random posts that comes to me when I’m taking out my contacts at night or during some other equally mundane task.