Overheard in the ER waiting room- “Come sit down before I beat your butt!” from the mother who refused at any cost to get off her lazy butt to get the kid who was running wild through a room of the sick and injured. And no- she was not the one who was there to be seen.
On names and parenting
Open letter to parents everywhere but especially parents who choose…… distinctively different names for their children- If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, be prepared for your average person to assume that its a duck. If you name your kid Javier and that is how it is spelled, be prepared for the poor young VERY NICE triage nurse to assume (sight unseen) that it is pronounced with a hispanic inflection. Havier. In this country today there are many Javiers and we white folks have finally figured out even in the midwest that names spelled like that usually have an ‘H’ sound for the J like ‘Jose’ or ‘jalapeno’. Do not rip the poor girl a new one because she wasn’t there when you (I assume drunkenly but thats just me) name your kid ‘Jay-vier but decide to spell it ‘Javier.’ Mmmkay? Do not proclaim to all and sundry that ANYONE should be able to tell the difference simply because you’re not Mexican.
I am not racist, but there are certain races out there that delight in coming up with some of the weirdest ass names. ‘Apple’ is one for our side and I do have a step cousin named ‘Neilashay’ but ‘Shaniqua’ and ‘Lashonda’ are right up there too.
And while I’m on your case, if you have 1 count em 1 injured child it is not necessary to make a trip to the ER a family outing with 3 moms, and 5 kids under the ages of 5. The sad part? There were 2 groups like this- 3 adults with a bunch of little kids running wild while the parents read or played cards or even chit chatted on the hospital’s phone. The triage nurse finally had to intervene and then the mother’s were all “Oh thanks- they wouldn’t listen to me.” And in the mean time there are sick and injured people sitting there getting more miserable by the minute because you made a stupid decision to apparently hold your kids birthday in the ER. “Oh kiddies it’ll be fun!” NOT!
So I guess if you couldn’t tell, I spent my evening in the ER last night. We got there at 9:45 right after 3 major traumas came in and got out of there at about 3:45 in the AM. That whole appleseed thing got a bit more complicated when I started vomiting (YUM!) and having trouble breathing. Remind me to thank my dad or mom for passing on the worlds tiniest veins to me. When I finally got in to be seen a little after midnight, they managed to get the first IV in my left hand on the first try, but when they had to do some stuff to make my throat glow under a CAT scan, they had to get a bigger vein and that took 3 tries and 3 more IV thingies cuz my veins bent the hell outta the first two. How does that work btw? The really sucky part is that the stuff they gave me to relax my throat muscles let the damn seed go down but we didn’t know that for sure till they did the scan. And apparently I have a diverticulum which makes sense with all the stuff that gets stuck in my throat so all in all that was a fun night for me.
It was nice to get up this afternoon and see that Dana had given my second ass kicking of the year. Wait kick ass blog award. Thats what I meant. Especially after feeling like I’d had mine kicked all over the place last night. I’m terribly lazy today so I’ll work on the passing on later. I’m going back to sleep for now cuz they didn’t give me any good drugs last night so I had to resort to OTC stuff at their direction. Benadryl to sleep and cloraseptic lozenges to numb my throat. LOL!
Oh I wanted to say a quick thank you to John who was my nurse last night. You were the nicest nurse I’ve ever had. Even if you did have to stab me twice. It wasn’t you who couldn’t get the stupid thing in my arm it was the other guy. So thanks so much for being awesome.