Body Image

Over the years that I’ve had this blog, I’ve talked before about my weight some and how I wished I could get into shape. When Jarell got sick back in August, we both renovated our lifestyles, started taking some supplements to fix some issues, and began being healthier in general. It was discovered that I not only had an issue with hypothyroidism (thyroid slows down production of certain crucial hormones, causing weight gain, hair growth, and a ton of other fun stuff), the IBS that I’ve discussed in the past, but also a gluten allergy. When I began addressing these issues, the weight started melting off even though I was eating more than I usually did. It wasn’t a fast weight loss, but, I am proud to say that since the end of August last year, I’ve lost about 25 pounds. I’d been hovering at just over 200 (yes I’m short and round, but I know a lot of it is muscle, as I wear comfortably the same size as several of my friends who are my height and weigh 30 pounds less than I do) for a long time, and I was okay with that. Then, I got pregnant and my weight at my first doctor’s appointment was up several pounds which came as quite a shock since I’d only weighed myself 2 days before. I was okay, but it did seem off. Then two weeks, and a bout with food poisoning later, I went back in and they were shocked to see me sitting 10 pounds lighter than the previous visit. This made more sense to me considering both the food poisoning and the fact that it lined up with where I should have been. Since then I have ignored my scale, only getting weighed again last week when I went in to see my OB one last time. Again, my weight was where it had been before (I have a sneaking suspicion that I lost quite a bit in the month between the two appointments but finally started to put some weight back on when I was able to eat again and everyone else has commented on it as well) and I was thankful for this fact as it meant I wasn’t losing or gaining weight in an unhealthy fashion.

You might well wonder where I’m going with this rambling diatribe about my weight, but your patience, if you’re still here, is about to be rewarded. My weight right now at 3 months, 5 days pregnant is 197 and I’m perfectly okay with that. I have fought my weight for years and in one of those supreme ‘go figure’ moments, I am at my thinnest I’ve been for 4 years at least, while also 3 months pregnant. I look in the mirror and don’t see a body that is gradually gaining back the pounds I’ve worked so hard to lose. Instead, I see a body that is being transformed into a temporary home and safe harbor for the infant I am growing inside me and what I see is beautiful. The swell in my belly that is more than just flab left from problems with the gluten allergies and a faulty thyroid is amazing to me and my breasts that are growing slowly to enormous proportions (and I was a 36 DD before the baby started making its mischief there) are not alien to me, but merely a much needed and quite conveniently free baby accessory that is going to make my life so much easier when the little one makes their arrival.

I find it amazing how one simple change in the weight gain formula can so easily affect how I see my body. For the first time in a long time, I am happy with what I see and although I still have concerns about the various issues that go hand in hand with being overweight while pregnant, I know to that I have the tools to avoid most of those pitfalls in the form of better nutrition, a healthier diet, and the willingness to get out and move when I have the energy. (which is supposed to be coming back any day now… right?) I am thankful for the first time for my wide hips and stocky muscular build that will help me lift this child and carry the weight of it through pregnancy and infancy.

What are you thankful for?

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2 thoughts on “Body Image

  1. Hi Melissa. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Pregnancy is such an amazing and crazy experience. I think it is great too that you are feeling so confident in your body and who you are. That is a characteristic that sadly many women are lacking thanks to unrealistic expectations the media perpetuates about how we are supposed to look.

    I wish you a happy and smooth pregnancy!

    • Thank you Brianna! I’m so excited about everything that’s happening! It really is sad the way the media tells we have to be so perfect, when the reality of their perfect is airbrushed, Photoshopped, and anorexic. Pregnancy is beautiful all on its own without those silly expectations.

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