Some people!

So I am usually a very nice laid back individual. I am patient to the Nth degree because I know that everyone has their problems. I worked in retail too so that adds to my ability to hold my tongue no matter what. No, that evil customer is not right, but sometimes its easier to just get them the hell out of your hair by agreeing with them. (unless they’re obviously driving drunk and then you call the cops) Honestly tho I had these traits even before I worked retail because I had a parent figure in my life who I could not argue with period no matter that I WAS right and even the other half of that unit admitted that I was and shouldn’t be in trouble because I didn’t do a goddamned thing wrong (resentful much?)

But there are times when enough is enough and today’s story, brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Wal Mart, is one of those stories.

I was a Walmart Drone for close to 3 years in varying positions from cashier to service desk to layaway to Customer Service Manager. I worked the Garden Center and made keys, worked in the grocery department and cut fabric. I wanted to learn it all because I could not stand spending an 8 hour shift on a register going “Hi, How are you, Have a nice freaking day” I still have many friends in the store where I worked here in Missouri and when I go in there we chat. Well I stopped in there today to cash a check because I had missed the bank before it closed and I needed to buy dog food. I got in line to buy a couple of little paper mache skulls for my Halloween costume and was waiting there while the woman in front of me wrote her check. The cashier (who happens to be the mother of my former assistant manager when I worked at Dollar General) was trying to explain to this well dressed woman that Wal Mart registers won’t take checks that are written for more than $20 over the ammount. Its not possible. Not only that, but her writing it for that amount will not magicly make the cash register change its mind and since the checks are returned to the customer it doesn’t matter if she even fills the darn thing out. There is an override that will let a supervisor do it and also get them in serious trouble with the accounting office when they find out but we weren’t telling this lady that because they never do that for customers. Period. I have only once even seen them do it for an employee, and it was an emergency situation for her. Well Delores, the cashier, runs the check through for the allowed $20 over and gets ready to hand the woman her change when the woman starts getting really mean. She says, “I told you I want it for $100 over not just $20!” to which Delores replies, “The machine won’t let us do that. All it will do is $20 over.” The woman demands to see a supervisor and so Delores goes and gets the CSM who happened to be one that I helped train when I worked there. She came over and politely asked the woman if she could help her. The woman went into her tirade about how it wasn’t fair that if she’d had a debit card she could get the hundred but because she wrote a check she could only get 20. Now I know that all of us watching agreed with her because it doesn’t seem fair, but its a matter of if a check gets stolen, the bank only covers so much and they cover more with a debit card.

At this point I smiled at the CSM and said how much I missed this kind of stuff. And then I said, “But you know what? If I were still an employee here I couldn’t say how much of a bitch some people can be and that would just be a shame!” The woman turned around and said, “Yeah I bet you miss it here. Wal Mart’s trying to take over the world! I hate shopping here!” to which I replied, “Fortunately you do have a choice not to come in here and harass these people. Go shop somewhere else and waste your gas and time and money.” At this point she stormed off.

Customers around us were watching and smiling at the spectacle because the woman had been making a real ass of herself. Delores looked at me and quietly said “Thank you for saying that because I couldn’t have.” and I felt much better. I was shaking from the confrontation but having had too many customers like that myself, I didn’t want to let that attitude of superiority that she slapped us with go unchallenged. And then when she left I thought of a really good comeback and wished I had thought to say. “Of course they’re taking over the world! And you’re helping them with every conspiracy and guilt laden purchase you make at this store!” I mean seriously, if I hated a store that much, I sure as hell wouldn’t spend close to 2 hundred bucks there and yet she had even before the hundred she was trying to get back.

When I left the parking lot, I saw her drive a way in her giant SUV. I’m sure considering that she was on the older side that she was probably fuming about that punk ass kid who called her a bitch in Wal Mart because she looked pissed. I on the other hand enjoyed the sweet sweet revenge and the adrenaline rush. So just remember folks, just because that poor cashier behind the counter can’t say a word doesn’t mean you or someone else can’t. And if you’re going to yell at someone over store policy, seriously??? Don’t yell at the cashier because I guaran-damn-tee that they are at the bottom of the totem pole and all you’ll do is ruin their day.

Blech

I don’t have much to say today due to a night of intense nausea that has thoughtfully continued into the morning. I gave up on sleep a while ago and have been scrolling around on other people’s blogs trying to ignore the sickness feeling. For any of my former Wal Mart compatriots, according to the last test I took, no I’m not pregnant. I have just been having bouts of sick off and on ever since we came home from Mexico. Go to the doctor and have that checked out you say? Well sure why not? Oh wait— not health insurance Thats why not. Ah well not much to be done then except drink copious amounts of anti-nausea goop. The strangely best tasting medicine I’ve ever had to take probably because its made with two kinds of sugar. I stumbled across one that has a challenge to lose weight and seeing as how I’m quite a bit fluffier than I was in my glory days of High School, I think I shall have to try it. I totally dig smoothies and if you do too, check out Pancakes and French Fries blog for the recipes and some bonus cute kid pics. Aside from all of this, here’s what I stopped by to show you guys. My friend posted this on a myspace bulletin and I couldn’t resist snapping it up to share here. I made me laugh a lot until my stomach rebelled at so much shaking and then I had to content myself with grinning some.
Happy reading.

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It’s PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.Dear Mr.Thatcher,I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16in my pants.Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now.As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call’an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customersmonthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’.Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.In fact, only last week, my friendJennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by a bunch of drunken chimps,Crazy!The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’Are you f**king kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unlessyou’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere.And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that’s a promise I will keep.Always.Best,Wendi AaronsAustin , TX