Good morning and Happy Friday!


To Post or Not to Post

I really spend way too much time on the computer so for today, I’m just going to pop in real quick and say “hi” before running off to do some sewing, then maybe some knitting, followed sadly by a bunch of cleaning. My house post-party always looks a bit tornado-esque and the kitchen is in serious need of dish cleansing and spatter removal. The microwave was used by teenagers and has unidentified spots in it as well that make me a bit nervous.

I’m working on floor cushions to  alleviate some of the discomfort brought on by sitting on the floor for our Apples to Apples games around the holidays.

The first one (and please pardon the bad cell pics- too lazy to break out the big beast which I know is unforgivable but there you have it) is finished and I have pieces for 3 more cut out.


It’s huge and used 2 pillow cases plus a whole bag of stuffing, but its surprisingly comfy. The next two will be reversed- the long points in the middle and the short points out to allow for a bigger sitting surface, but I really like the way this one supports your legs.

Knitting projects will be updated here as I have the time. My Survey of Modern and Contemporary Arts class keeps me fairly busy, but writing lengthy papers that say little is an art I’ve perfected as a blogger 😉


Holy cow I’ve been busy! So busy/lazy that I haven’t even completed my Halloween costume yet (our party is two days away so I need to get going on that one!!) In my defense, I’m doing school work, making decorations, cleaning (sometimes…..), cooking, running errands, and all the other little things that make up life and blogs and costumes fall very far down on that list of things to do. Class keeps me busy a lot of the time- the one I’m in right now (which thankfully ends Wednesday- just when its finally getting interesting) is Color Theory for Web and Media- basically I’m learning about using colors on the computer. Unfortunately, I’m not a design student and I’m also very left-brained which makes being creative in random fashions quite a challenge. That said, I’m still keeping my 4.0 average (go me, right?) but I feel pretty relieved to make it through every week.

I’m actually here today because I am going to try (notice I say try) to post most days this month. It’s November, and here in the states that means the holiday season is upon us starting with Thanksgiving. I thought it would be nice to post something that I’m thankful for every day here on the blog. (only thought of it today so there goes NaBloPoMo)

In that line of thinking, and since I missed three days already, here are  four things I’m thankful for. (don’t get used to it- I’ll only be posting multiples when I’ve missed a few days…. on second thought, maybe you should get used to it…)

  1. Jarell- My husband, partner in crime, best friend, house cleaning aficionado, handy man, favorite comedian, and all around wonderful guy. He makes me smile, he takes care of me when I’m feeling yucky like I have been this last month thanks to bronchitis, works his butt off at a very tough job and tells me he’s glad to because it means I don’t have to work at a job I hate. I don’t deserve this man, but I try every day to live up to the standards he sets by being as wonderful as he is.
  2. Speaking of the job Jarell does, I’m thankful that he has been well employed all summer even if that meant him being gone all week and us only talking for a few minutes each day. Our bills are caught up, we have a car being fixed as I speak that will be mine when its done, propane for the furnace, food in the fridge, and lots of little things that make me happy around the house.
  3. I am incredibly thankful to be in school. Despite the fact that some of the classes get me (they’re short- 5 1/2 weeks long) I love being in school and learning again. The knowledge that I am moving forward with my photography makes me incredibly happy.
  4. Finally as a random one, I am thankful for Fall. I love Spring with its greening grasses and possibilities of a garden ahead, but I was born in January and I love all the changes that lead up to my birthday- the crisping nights, the warm fires, the first time it snows. All these things are magical to me and I love love love this time of year!

Alone in the middle of the night

I spent several (okay 3 but it felt like more) months alone last summer because my husband had back to back out of town jobs with his father’s drilling company. And as soon as the men left, my MIL would follow with all the kids in tow except J10 and J11 because 10 had to work and 11 had to take care of the animals. I kept them at our house as often as possible since neither had a drivers license and really who leaves teens alone even when they’re responsible like 11 or not so much like 10. But the true reason I kept them close was I did not want to rattle about in this big home that is only a dwelling without my other half. At the beginning of all of this The Princess (J5) was still living here because that was the agreement when we bought the house from him. He spent a great deal of his time making my life a living hell for reasons known only to him but that was not the worst part.

J5 has been involved in some shall we say unsavory situations in his relatively short time on this earth. Unfortunately these unsavory situations have the tendency to make enemies for him and those enemies would always start as friends who would be invited to his house. The house that I now live in. So needless to say we lock up at night. He had just finished making a fairly volatile and dangerous person angry right before Jarell and I got married by hooking up with his former friend and roommate’s girlfriend/baby’s mother and lying about it to all and sundry including his live in girlfriend who I liked very much. I have to assume that the reason he hates me so much is that I told her the truth when asked about his activities as far as I knew while she was out of town. Again not relevant to alone in the middle of the night per se, but rather back story that makes things more understandable.

By the time that Jarell went out of town the first of July TP had taken to staying elsewhere most nights but he would show up in the middle of the night out of the blue. This made me nervous because I would not know about it till the next morning and its a bit unnerving to know someone can come into your house and sit in the living room next to your bedroom without you ever knowing it. Especially unnerving if you have lived in a place where someone tried repeatedly to break into your house in a drunken fit because they had mistaken your trailer for theirs. (another story for another day) I decided to take matters into my own hands and did the unthinkable according to TP. I put a locking doorknob on our interior basement/garage door. Unbeknownst to me it did not install properly and when you turned the door knob sometimes it would lock of its own volition. I took the key with me the day after installation to get copies made for TP (because the house was still technically his at the time- we were renting to own) and for Jarell. I wanted two locked doors between me and any possible intruders, but what I got was a royally pissed off brother in law and a messed up door. When I left to get copies that day the door locked behind me without my knowledge and TP tried to go upstairs. When he found the door locked and assumed it was on purpose he pried it open and left me and Jarell rude messages. He told Jarell to get his wife under control (oh yes…. he did go there) and told me to quit effing up his house. As amazing as this may sound, I am now thankful that he messed the doorknob up.

One night for whatever reason I was alone in my house. Neither of the girls were here having taken a rare night to stay at home with J4. The house was not locked up for the night, but the inside door was shut all the way and that meant that there was no doorknob on the outside for anyone to grab making a prybar or large screwdriver necessary to open it and light to see by a good thing.  

I was sitting on my couch reading a book at 9:30 or so when I heard a rattling at the bottom of the stairs. I assumed it was TP so I gave it no further thought. It kept going and I knew he would have gotten it by now because he was the one that broke it in the first place. I called Jarell quietly and asked him to check and see if it was J5 downstairs I also went in my room and locked the door as a precaution. Jarell called me back saying no J5 was in KC, why? Because theres someone in the basement trying to get upstairs. I could still hear the muted rattling of the door. Jarell debated about who to call while I cried softly and then decided to call J3 who lives only about 5 miles away. I grabbed a gun and snuck quietly out of my bedroom glad now to hear that the noise had stopped but nervous about what that might mean.

J3 came tearing down the driveway in his big duelly Dodge with its diesel engine hammering. He came to the seldom used front door and rang the bell. I was on the phone with his wife so I knew it was him. He came in with his shirt unbuttoned looking like he’d dressed quickly with his .45 drawn (this is rural America folks – even grannies gots guns) and checked the bedrooms, closets, bathroom, and the basement. Whoever had been there was now gone.

We locked all the doors and I drove to my inlaw’s house to stay with the girls because my house was no longer the safe haven it had been 3 hours earlier. It was a scary place 1/4 mile back from the road that no one even knew was there. Well almost no one and that was the problem. The wrong people knew and the right ones to call in an emergency might take too long getting lost with confusing directions given by the omniscient GPS that has somehow misplaced our location. After that I was not willing to stay alone in the house and the few short trips where Jarell has been gone overnight since then have been girls nights in because when it comes down to it, I am more capable of acting when there is someone else to protect besides myself.

When ,in the middle of the afternoon one day J11 and I heard a noise in the basement that was not made by someone who was supposed to be here, I grabbed the gun again and made my way down the stairs to check every nook and cranny because someone was there to call 911 if need be. I was shaking for an hour afterwards from the excess adrenaline leaving my body but at the time all I cared about was making sure we were both safe. This is my nature- to protect my home and those in it less strong than I.

Where does all of this come from you might ask. Why talk about it now? Well it just so happens that on or around the 15th Jarell will make a trip that should last only about 2 weeks to Oregon for his job. I will not go because 1) I hate flying with a passion and 2) My dogs are here and I don’t need to go but I do need to take care of them and my fish and my home. The thought of his upcoming trip makes me nervous. I cringe a little more as each day passes knowing that his imminent departure draws nigh. I curl up inside thinking of the long nights alone where things go bump in the night and it makes me afraid. The standard excuse of having the kids around because there are no parents at home may or may not be valid because it is unlikely that my MIL will follow for this short trip. The fact that J5 has been gone from this residence for almost a year now seems to have made a difference in the last 2 months but thats not that long and we’ve gone longer between incidents before this.

This is what weighs on my mind in the wee sma’s of the night so much so that I have dragged out my most persuasive words and writing for you dear reader. Show instead of tell. I was always good at that in school assignments but I’m out of practice now. Persuasion in my life is done with food and verbal incentive rather than passioned proes, adjectives, illiteration, and good punctuation. I lay my daily life open for all to see as if I were writing notes to a good friend replete with smileys and slang rather than as if I were trying to make the grade. I hope it does not dissapoint because I feel inadequate next to those of you who speak so eloquently of things as simple as chickens, yard work, and visits to the grocery store.

As a conclusion, I want to say this was always the weakest point of my papers, letters and even emails. I never knew just how to end and countless teachers and peers told me this as did my own eyes. How does one conclude a piece about your fear of the dark and lonely night when it is at odds with your love of shadows and moons and all things nocturnal. I suppose you say that you will soldier on and that there is (usually) nothing to fear but fear itself. As for me? I bid you adieu for the night mes chers amis.

Bonne Nuit

Almost back home

Well no not really but we’ll be going home the day after tomorrow. We’re going to Seaworld today maybe which will be fun but if we don’t I’ll be okay with that too. I’m happy because yesterday I went to a bead store called Black Market Minerals and got a bunch of beads including some really cool magnetic beads. It’ll fun to play with them and I already have a design for a choker planned for some of the shell beads and teardrop pearls. They had sets of 10 magnetic beads for sale as clasps for 4.50 and they had whole strings for sale of the same beads for 4.50 so needless to say I bought the whole string. I’ll try to post pictures later but I’m not making promises because I’ve procrastinated before 🙂 Until later,