I can’t believe that’s all there is til my due date. I found out I was pregnant very early on- I was only about 2 weeks along from conception when I took the test- but of course they measure from the start of your last cycle so at this point, I have gone the same amount of time as I had left when I first found out. (That’s very confusing, but read it slowly and it will make sense I think).
I’m starting to get to a slightly panicky/ sad stage because the baby shower that was in the works never happened. My sister in laws and mother in law threw a wonderful little shower when we were down at the lake a couple of weeks back, but it doesn’t look like there will be a shower that includes my side of the family and my friends. I realize this is a sad statement on my own family that no one cared to do this for me, but I was under the impression that it was all taken care of- my sister in law and I had come up with a date and a theme, and she asked for my address list, but that was as far as it went. I guess this is where not having close friends outside of my husband’s family becomes a downside- no one to throw a baby shower for me. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I was looking forward to the fun of doing a girly shower with games and decorations and hoping (selfishly I know) that I might get a few more necessities checked off the list before I had to go buy stuff. I had so much fun with the registries- finding things that we needed and I loved- but I could have saved myself the trouble since no one remembered I was registered anywhere until it was too late.
I’m trying to be positive about all of this and remind myself that I have a ton of clothes now and a few blankets and things, but its hard when I keep thinking that that’s it- no furniture, no bath, no first aid items, none of the other things I would normally consider baby essentials except the diapers I’ve been making and a diaper cake worth of disposables. Money is tight right now- we’re just trying to pay off the last third of the midwife’s bill (and do it quickly since I totally spaced on the date we needed to have it paid by) so that doesn’t leave much for buying the glider I desperately want for rocking her to sleep in or the crib I would love to have for nap time (we plan to co-sleep and I know at first I’m probably going to be sleeping right along with her, but there will come a point when I can lay her down maybe and then where will I put her? Jarell will be sticking close to home starting tomorrow when he gets home from Iowa so the larger paychecks that we’ve been relying on to take care of extra expenses will be gone and we’ll be back to the just barely pay the bills type of paychecks.
I know things will work out- there are many people who get by with much much less- but its very hard not to be sad when someone asks me when the baby shower is and all I can say is there probably won’t be one.
Trying to get away from all this negativity, there are wonderful things happening too- I get to have Jarell home for the next several weeks and that is beyond awesome. I told him I loved him so much I would go through being pregnant and giving birth if it meant keeping him close to me for that long ;). This job in Iowa has stretched out so long that I hardly remember what its like to have him home for long periods of time. He’s been home for more than a week at a time a few times, but always working long hard hours (except when he ended up in the hospital last August) that kept him gone almost as much as if he weren’t home at all. I’m thankful that he will be here close by for quite awhile to help me with the things that still need to be done like turning my craft room into a nursery and all the other heavy lifting that I haven’t really been able to do for the last couple of weeks. Most of all I’m thankful to have my partner and best friend home with me when I need him most for emotional support. Its hard only talking to him for 15 or 20 minutes, at most, 2 or 3 times a day. That’s often the only contact we have when he’s working like he is now and it makes me appreciate the time I do have with him so much more than I might otherwise.
This is getting long and pathetic so I’m going to quit while I’m not too far behind. I need to make a run to the store to buy more needles for my serger since I managed to snap the one that was on there and then I need to find some basic canning essentials because I picked 32 lbs of peaches yesterday with my mother in law and I need to do something with them ASAP.
Here it is- I’m at 30 weeks now which means that this is my last week with double digit weeks left til my due date. (I say this knowing full well that she may not/probably won’t join us on that date) I remember being just 10 weeks along- it was the end of December and it was when my morning sickness started. It was a rough rough week for me, but looking back, I am so thankful for all that has come before this because I know it was good training for that day that is fast approaching when I will be bringing her out into the world. The morning sickness lasted nearly to 5 months which was hard, but it has mostly gone away now aside from the occasional drop in to remind me that all is not normal in my brain and digestive system.
I am hoping that this 31st week of pregnancy will be memorable in that it will mean the final completion of this year long stint in Iowa for Jarell. He’s been working up there since last March and, aside from a brief hiatus in late summer last year when they ran a job in Kansas City, its been long weeks with him gone and short weekends with him home. There have been longer periods of time when they were back, but mostly they’ve been gone and as my due date approaches, I am getting more and more anxious to have him here, close, and ready at hand, should our daughter decide to make her appearance sooner than expected.
I’ve reached the point where working in the garden is uncomfortable, even tho I want to be out in it more than almost anything else, so today J11 and her boyfriend are coming over to help me get some much needed weeding done. While they work on the weeding end of things, I’m going to try and get some tomatoes transplanted that are currently growing too close together. Then everything is going to get a good dose of fertilizer because a lot of my plants are looking a bit yellow. I have already harvested my first batch of green beans for the year- tiny and incredibly tender, the lettuce is done for the season which means it will be coming out to make room for the tomatoes moving, the peas are just starting to put on pods (weird warm weather and a late planting), I’m harvesting small turnips and the last of the radishes and trying to figure out how best to preserve them. Its been a good year thus far for productivity. Maybe after the garden is weeded and cleaned up, I won’t feel so bad about sharing pictures with you- right now its a mess. 🙂
Sometimes I feel like I’m living in one. Honestly, as my pregnancy progresses, I realize that to many women out there, it probably seems that way, and I can see why they would think that. I’ve got the handsome prince, the life, the home, the animals *grins*, and even a less than pleasant stepmother. My prince slays each and every dragon that comes along without ever asking for anything in return which just makes me love him all the more. Our fairytale is modern tho. We had bad rentals, crummy jobs, lots of time with no money, disapproving mothers, and way too many siblings instead of evil queens or angry wizards to face. The trials were along these lines with a few curve balls like the prince constantly being out of town for work and a ghost from the princess’ past who wanted to replace the handsome prince and used all his wiles to seduce her away. They worked through all these things and were stronger for the battles they fought together.
Now we are expecting the successor to our throne- the first prince or princess of our very own and my handsome man has become even more amazing than ever. I’m talking working a full day, washing dishes on his lunch break, cooking dinner when he gets home, cleaning the house, sleeping on the couch with our new puppy (did I mention someone gave us a mastiff puppy?) last night so I could get a full night’s sleep for the first time this week. When I came out at 1 in the morning to find him asleep on the couch, puppy curled up on his chest and kissed him good night, his first words were, ‘hey beautiful’. I seriously don’t know how I could be more in love with this man, my sweet prince, and yet each day I find I am.
As Valentine’s day draws close and I think about all the traditional gifts women expect, I realize that this year, the only thing I want is more of this. More time with my husband, more time to be thankful for him, a way to give back to him and try to show him just how much he means to me. I’m ashamed to think of all the times I’ve been disappointed because he rarely buys me flowers without hints and outright requests. My birthday is a hard one for him too because it falls exactly one week after Christmas when we’re broke and worn out from the other holidays. He never forgets it, but usually can’t make it to the store to get a present with all the other things he has to juggle. That really used to bother me, but when I stop and think about all the gifts he gives me each and every day of the year, I realize I’ve got the best present of all and I don’t have to wait til my birthday to open it. Coming home to a clean house after being sent to the fabric store to ‘buy something for myself’, his assistance in taking care of our animals without any complaints even when they’re just about the only responsibility I have any more. His wonderful understanding of my insanity as a hormonal pregnant woman and the way he caters to my every need. I couldn’t ask for more and I’m so thankful for everything I have.
I’m going to wrap this up now- the tears and snot are flowing freely because this is a very emotional subject for me, but I wanted to dedicate a special post to my wonderful man.
Holy cow I’ve been busy! So busy/lazy that I haven’t even completed my Halloween costume yet (our party is two days away so I need to get going on that one!!) In my defense, I’m doing school work, making decorations, cleaning (sometimes…..), cooking, running errands, and all the other little things that make up life and blogs and costumes fall very far down on that list of things to do. Class keeps me busy a lot of the time- the one I’m in right now (which thankfully ends Wednesday- just when its finally getting interesting) is Color Theory for Web and Media- basically I’m learning about using colors on the computer. Unfortunately, I’m not a design student and I’m also very left-brained which makes being creative in random fashions quite a challenge. That said, I’m still keeping my 4.0 average (go me, right?) but I feel pretty relieved to make it through every week.
I’m actually here today because I am going to try (notice I say try) to post most days this month. It’s November, and here in the states that means the holiday season is upon us starting with Thanksgiving. I thought it would be nice to post something that I’m thankful for every day here on the blog. (only thought of it today so there goes NaBloPoMo)
In that line of thinking, and since I missed three days already, here are four things I’m thankful for. (don’t get used to it- I’ll only be posting multiples when I’ve missed a few days…. on second thought, maybe you should get used to it…)
- Jarell- My husband, partner in crime, best friend, house cleaning aficionado, handy man, favorite comedian, and all around wonderful guy. He makes me smile, he takes care of me when I’m feeling yucky like I have been this last month thanks to bronchitis, works his butt off at a very tough job and tells me he’s glad to because it means I don’t have to work at a job I hate. I don’t deserve this man, but I try every day to live up to the standards he sets by being as wonderful as he is.
- Speaking of the job Jarell does, I’m thankful that he has been well employed all summer even if that meant him being gone all week and us only talking for a few minutes each day. Our bills are caught up, we have a car being fixed as I speak that will be mine when its done, propane for the furnace, food in the fridge, and lots of little things that make me happy around the house.
- I am incredibly thankful to be in school. Despite the fact that some of the classes get me (they’re short- 5 1/2 weeks long) I love being in school and learning again. The knowledge that I am moving forward with my photography makes me incredibly happy.
- Finally as a random one, I am thankful for Fall. I love Spring with its greening grasses and possibilities of a garden ahead, but I was born in January and I love all the changes that lead up to my birthday- the crisping nights, the warm fires, the first time it snows. All these things are magical to me and I love love love this time of year!
Someone found my blog by looking up “pee on” Well yes there is a post here about the time I got stung by a jellyfish and my sister in law said “Just let him pee on your leg- that will make it feel better.” Oddly enough this is not the first time someone has found me by looking up something about peeing on someone’s leg.
The song the Hampster Dance. When I was about 12 or so and the internet at home was still a relative novelty my dad called me into his office one night “Melissa c’mere you gotta see this” and there on the screen were dozens of dancing hampsters and my dad was smiling like a little kid. How can that not be a happy memory?
My dogs especially Pepper are sweet and crazy funny animals. Pepper has this look I call the “Hush Puppy” look because her lips curl up on her teeth when she closes her mouth so that she looks like the puppet from Lambchops Playalong. I don’t have a picture because she only does it when I don’t have a camera on me. She along with Tinkerbell, Lily, Pugsly, and Missy are the current doggie owners of my heart.
Pepper my sweet dog- about a 4 month old picture so she
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My husband. He just makes me smile in general. Last night he went to bed before I could get the clean sheets on the bed and was a bit disgruntled when I woke him up to put them on until he felt the new 400 thread count sateen cotton sheet that was under him. He was a much less grumpy bear after that and I had to laugh at him because sometimes you just do.
My inlaws current laundry set up.
Warm weather washer
Its amazing how sometimes you don’t miss it till its gone. In this case its a washer. Ours was out for a long time and we finally got it back as my inlaws started a remodel thats been in the works and needed for 4 years now. My MIL needed to do laundry and laundry for 6 is hard to do at a laundry mat so this was their solution and it made me grin. See their house is like a 400 thousand plus dollar home and this is like the icing on the cake. She and I laughed about how it made us feel like we were back in Mexico where if they have electric washers, they go outside. Or at least they do in the small town we were in. And forget about electric OR gas dryers.
Having a washer again. Nuff said, right?
My fishies. I can watch them for great lengths of time because they are just so soothing and sweet. Seriously. My angelfish, Toi is especially friendly and it follows me around.